Welcome to Titanium Court ! Table for one? You have a reservation I assume? You don’t!? Ah, I see. Just minding your own business before stumbling into a realm of magic and faeries, were you? Not to worry, happens all the time. Tell you what, why don’t I see if we can squeeze you in somewhere while you become acquainted with the many amenities offered by the Court.

Amenities such as:

• Puzzling Battles : For tonight's entertainment, the Court is at WAR ! Just a little something to pass the time, you see. Who's in command? Why do you ask? Are you volunteering ? Oh don't worry, you won't be issuing orders to these faerie troops. They wouldn't follow them anyways. I think you'll have more success commanding the terrain itself to fall in your favor , haha.

• Puzzling Narrative : Lore dumps are strictly against my religion I'm afraid, so you'll have to uncover the secrets of the Court yourself. Some of them may even fundamentally change you as a person. Be careful with those!

• Diverse and fulfilling career options : Warlord, Arsonist, Celebrity, Insurance Fraudster. Your time within the Court will qualify you for many of these exalted and lucrative positions.

• A vast collection of fine art to- wait, what's this?

Hmmm, looks like they're making us take a detour through this list of bullet points. Why? Did something happen up ahead?

Ah, yes, giant mouse lying right in our path. That'll do it. Let's not spend too much time rubbernecking. Where was I? Oh right, bullet points! Here's the last one:

• Fully interactive shower : for certain definitions of "interactive" and certain definitions of "shower."

Also, before I forget, local ordinance requires I mention that This Game Features a Hefty Amount of Reading so those with allergies or intolerances to such things may wish to steer clear.

And here's an open seat!

Once again, welcome to Titanium Court. Please enjoy your stay!